If you have school-aged children, chances are you’re familiar with the dreaded school car line. It’s the line you begrudgingly get into each day to drop-off and pick-up little Billy or Susie. It’s usually longer than any line you encounter at Disney World, typically fellow parents are trying to cut in front of you as though you won’t see them again the very next day, and it will cause you to stress eat peanut butter cups while you wait…or maybe that’s just me? 

Even if you’re not usually prone to dropping the f bomb, the school car line will bring out your inner bad mom as you gesture wildly at the people who won’t pull up in line because they’re too busy updating their Facebook status or texting their BFF about what Becky was wearing to the PTA meeting. It’s enough to make you lose your freaking mind.

Thankfully there are people who turn their car line induced rage into humor so the rest of us can laugh while we wait. Not all heroes wear capes.

I think picking up snacks is more motivating than picking up kids. Maybe schools should consider handing out giant soft pretzels in car line? I bet people would remember to pull forward for a soft pretzel.

It’s called multitasking and we do it extremely well. Now pass me a donut, kid, this line isn’t going anywhere.

I’d prefer to call it the “tuck and roll” line so I can stop feeling so bad about pushing my offspring out of a moving vehicle as I speed towards freedom. 

After a few days in the car line you will be filled with rage and hate. No amount of yoga or meditation will be able to help you. This is your life now.

Seriously, be cool. Cutting in any line makes you the worst and everyone will judge you and secretly wish a case of head lice on your entire family.

You know the saying, “If you’re early, you’re on time. And if you’re on time, you’re late.” Congrats on winning the title of who loves their kid the most. Here’s a trophy

Curse you, tiny mom bladder. 

You can only bite your tongue for so long. Eventually the pent up rage monster will have to come out.

Let’s be honest, the only perk to the school car line is being able to wear pajamas to both drop off and pick up without being judged.

Save your hugs and kisses for home, and slow your car down just enough so no gets hurt as they’re rolling away from the moving vehicle.

It’s like a scene out of an apocalyptic war movie only with more yoga pants and less destruction.

Fri-Yay! Oh, wait. Nope, I’ll be in car line till at least Saturday at noon.