Now that all our prayers have been answered and a “Full House” spin-off is in the works, I’ve been thinking about what other ’80s TV shows I want to come back. I was a latch key kid who loved the boob tube, so it’s hard to pick favorites. But I’ll try. FOR YOU.
1. “The Jetsons”
These guys have a lot of explaining to do. I was sure by now I’d be flying in a hovercraft to work while my domesticated robot prepped dinner of lasagne-flavored capsules back home. Also, I’ve had the song “Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah” stuck in my head for over 20 years. Any chance Jet Screamer has released other songs yet?
2. “Knight Rider”
OMG KIT WOULD BE SO COOL NOW. And Hasselhoff earned back all street cred with appearances in that SpongeBob movie, soooo…this would obviously be a winner. I don’t even care about plot. I just need this to happen again.
Sure, Jerrica Benton went a bit overboard on the eye make-up when conjuring up her alter ego and the Holograms, but those ladies were fun, feisty role models for girls in a sea of boy-focused TV. I want them back and I also want a weekly segment where they do an acapella mash-up contest against current Top 20 artists. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask.
The poster on my childhood bedroom door might make me seem biased, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see whether he ever gathered up his fellow Melmacians to come live here on Earth again in peace? Sure, Alf was a sarcastic prankster who kept trying to eat the family cat, but he was also a scientist who begged the government to end the nuclear program. Sounds like the kind of alien it might be nice to have around once more.
5. “ThunderCats,” “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” & “She-Ra” (COMBINED)
Basically, “ThunderCats” is what would happen if “Game of Thrones,” “V,” and “Garfield” were mixed up in a blender. He-Man, She-Ra and friends look just as badass, even if they are more bark than bite. I want a new show where ALL of them work together to fight the bad guys, including an even more ancient Skeletor. By the power of Grayskull, I beg for this to happen!
This dude is the only reason I am able to do anything on my own as a grown-up. He’s also why I never let myself run out of duct tape, paper clips, or batteries. The question isn’t why isn’t this show still on, it’s why doesn’t he have his own network by now?
7. “Top Cat”
TV these days is far too full of the rich and misbehaved causing fights in their mansions and trouble at fancy restaurants. We need Top Cat and the rest of his hooligan buddies to remind us how shenanigans are really done. But I do wonder: Did Officer Dribble ever retire? Who else could possibly keep this ruffian kitty crew in line?? Do cats even live this long??? There might need to be a re-casting, unless someone out there knows of a very good taxidermist.
Yeah yeah yeah, Bruce Willis and Cybil Shepherd were known for hating each other on-set, but HOW COOL would it be to re-open the Blue Moon Detective Agency with their fictitious kids? Who doesn’t want to see Grandma Maddie and Pop-pop David trying to figure out the new-fangled spy gear technology used in investigations these days?
9. “The Facts of Life”
Besides being able to sing one of the best theme songs in the history of ever on the regular once more — which I’d insist they do not update — I’d love to see Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie in charge of all the girls this time around. Yes, Blair already bought the academy in a spin-off, but she MUST run things with her longtime dorm mates in the remake. Nothing else will do!
10. “Small Wonder”
I’d love to see this show come back — but with a darker turn. V.I.C.I. the android kept getting upgrades until she looked like a woman, and now is a super-robot crime fighter a la “Robocop” (but adorable). Her creator, Ted Lawson, stopped trying to help kids in need with his robots, and instead tried to infiltrate the government with them by creating clone-like droids of high-up officials. V.I.C.I. dedicates her life to stopping him. Also? She never stops wearing that ruffled apron.
11. “Davey and Goliath”
Sure, technically speaking I was watching re-runs of this show back in the ’80s, but what this world needs these days is a little stop-action television about a boy and his dog who can teach us moral lessons while rockin’ out to Kumbaya and ringing a bell LIKE A BOSS.
12. “Who’s the Boss?”
Are Tony and Angela still hittin’ it? Is Mona the tramp of the old folks’ home? Did Sam ever get a cooler car? Is Jonathan less lame? I have so many questions that need answering.
13. “The Muppet Show”
Any show with a “Pigs in Space” recurring segment is one that should run FOREVER. How is this not a thing?
Which shows do you wish would come back?